It has been a week since we got back.
Which means it has been a week since the children last hung out with their Papa.
Which also means it has been a week since I hung out with my husband.
My question is: how did my parents used to do this? Emotionally and physically.
I remember my father being away for months, and still my mother was able to hold herself together in front of all her children. How did they manage their marriage when father was posted abroad? It wasn't just a week or two of out-station, it was durations of 6 months or more. My father sacrificed family time so that we could all have a more comfortable lifestyle.
Sadly, at one point, I somehow got used to not having my father around. As I was younger, I never understood his reason for doing this. Needless to say, now that I am a mother of two, I totally understand, in fact pretty clearly, what father had done for us in the past.
As I think back, I am certain that my father secretly wished to spend those happy festive holidays and birthdays with us. Skype was not available those days and it was ridiculously expensive to make international calls too. I wonder if Mum & Dad had enough time to catch up on the phone. My father is a man with very few words so I cannot imagine a lengthy telephone conversation daily while he was overseas.
Similarly, my husband is going through the same phase at this moment. Being away from us. I am sure it is not easy to come back to an empty apartment, so quiet that you can hear the air-ventilator.
Last year, husband and I were apart for almost 6 months - our eldest child fell very sick and it was also the delivery of child number 2. I have to confess it was a very challenging moment in our marriage. Communication was minimal. We were both exhausted, physically & mentally. We almost lost the chemistry as a married couple. I started to question many things - many unnecessary areas. Silly things like whether or not we have common interests, common goals etc. I started to have expectations when he visited us, which created more tension between us. What I have learnt from last year? Do not over-think. Good to think but NOT over-analyse.
Now that I look back, we have grown so much stronger and more supportive as a couple. Perhaps I have just found the answer to my own question. Both sides have to sincerely acknowledge the sacrifices you each commit to the marriage and family. No matter how far apart you are, you know deep inside that you are working towards a common goal: a healthy & happy family unit.
I wish everyone big love & big smiles.
xx,
Y.
No comments:
Post a Comment